On Having a Boyfriend

Viber.
Wednesday.
July 18, 2012.
Minutes before nine in the evening.

B: Parang ayoko muna ng boys sa buhay ko sa ngayon. I mean, gusto ko muna mag pahinga. Haha!
C: Sabagay. Mas masaya single. Less complications. Less stress.
B: Nako. Baka kaya di ka nagkaka boyfriend, lagi mo sinasabi, "mas masaya single." Di ka tuloy ni God binibigyan ng boyfriend. Masaya ka naman pala ng ganyan. Hahaha! Peace.
C: Mas alam ni God kung ano nararamdaman ko kesa sa akin. :p

A conversation with my bestfriend. Funny that it sounds so familiar. I recall that back in high school, I've said the same thing -- "Mas masaya single," and I've always been saying that since then. May blog pa nga ako entitled "Single Yet Happy" eh. Not that I fear commitments or relationships. I just thought na pag single, less ang stress at complications. Kasi basically, sarili mo lang iintindihin mo.

I have also thought about what she said na "di ka tuloy binibigyan ni God ng boyfriend" before pa niya sabihin. Honestly, naisip ko na baka nga wala kasi lagi kong sinasabi yun. Since that realization, I changed my prayer into "Lord sana may dumating din na magpapakilig sa akin." And if you've read my previews posts, makikita niyo na meron namang mga dumating kaya nga lang di nagtatagal. I've changed my prayer again into, "Basta Lord, alam mo na. Pag hindi siya, sana wag nang tumagal." Tinutupad Niya naman. haha. I've fallen in love pero dahil alam Niya na di yun ang para sa akin, di na Niya pinatagal.

Again, I do not fear commitments nor relationships and most especially, I am not a man-hater. I'm just not fond of investing feelings into something that I know will never last. Sayang sa energy! Sayang sa oras. Surely, I've tried to hangout or flirt a little pero bumabalik pa rin sa "ayoko ng short-time lang... ayoko ng laro."

Bottom line? Hindi sa ayoko sa lalaki o sa relasyon, ayoko lang talaga na pumasok sa sitwasyon na panandalian lang. Kung darating, go! Kung hindi, steady lang ako. But as of now, I would rather be on my own. I don't think I'm capable of giving chances to anyone. Not yet... not now... not soon. When? I don't know! Who are we to know? Darating din yan. At kung dumating, sana yun na.